My Little World10

well that was an obvious title, end of 2005 and it's my reflective moment before i go out and drink heavily

i'd say ths year has been a good year, i travelled and met loads of people and gained a lot more confidence, whether uni is the best thing is debatable, i try to enjoy it as much as possible, i mean i don't just mope but maybe i worry too much, - think too much in general maybe

house will be sorted in a month or two, so less stress at home and i have to sort out my own place for next year, so still worrying but whatever, i'm gonna go with the flow which is what i always do i've noticed

women as usual cause me grief, met a wonderful girl down under which is ironic seeing as i live in blighty and i''m torn as to what to do back home, (see earlier entries you lazy sod) so this year i start afresh, hopefully tonight i might find something interesting, but maybe not

this is my new beginning, last year i changed a lot, for the better i hope and i want to keep doing that and this year i want to do what i want and keep motivated, i need to work harder, i'm sure everybody says this at new year but i intend to make this year good, the way i see it is 2004 was the end of the young me, kept down by my school days and 2005 was my big evolution into an adult, maybe i'm not a man yet but i am a better person

this will be a good year, i will find something in it that makes me feel whole, keeps me motivated, give me more control, i'm at uni til 2008 probably so i need to be disciplined and stay focused for a while

habits or resolutions? i don't have habits, not that i want to give up anyway, i want to be a stronger person and maybe a little less argumentative and maybe try to think about so much, less (i know what i mean) i shall keep going to the gym lots and keep up martial arts and not get so worked up about women

ok? thinks that's everything, maybe i should write a list or lifetime wants - nah, i don't like plans, wonder what i'll be like in a few years when i read this again

well another boring day, though i was fairly excited when we finished installing the bathroom, sad i know but i've been living in squaller (is that right spelling) for over 2 years so it's fair enough i think, have become addicted to lost again, that's about it, it's cold tonight so i'm going bed

well another fairly boring day, earnt some money though and one of my friends thinks i'm fussy about women - i'm not, they're the fussy ones when it comes to me

saw her briefly again today, one of these days i'll forget which girls i write about, why is it that some days she is fairly uninterested and then others she's all friendly?? drives me mad, i want to do something, wahahaha (thats me crying out)

i'll keep it short.. 

well that's it for another year, 2005 hasn't been the best year around the world, probably one of my better years tho, i met some great people, saw a lot of places and grew up a bit

i should write this at new year actually but hopefully ill be nursing a hangover so i'll do it now, better than the queen's speech any day lol, i'll save a bit of reflection for new year i think 

i'm bored and doing nothing at the mo so i won't write any more, work tomorrow morning...great 

just wrote down how moody i am from a night at work, sleep and food deprived, and the comp did stupid things again, grrrr

well i give up on her, she wasn't being intrested this morning and i'm not in the mood to bark up the wrong tree, i'm better off alone, i'm tired, be back boxing day

merry xmas and here's to a better 2006 

it actually hurts! briefly saw her this morning, looking very nice and she was a lot more engaging than she was on monday - and i just feel so frustrated!!!!!!!!!!! i can't write how my head is feeling right now - i know i'm a fool and should just ask her out but i'm not sure, i don't want to look like an idiot

this has got to be one of the most irritating things that has ever happened to me...in this respect anyway, why can't she just be obvious for me?? i wanna cry.....groan

i don't want to be alone anymore.....jingle bells... 

women, or lack of, is very frustrating!!! the girl with the boyfriend was about tonite as well, driving me insane, arghhhh

work wasn't too bad because i had some entertainment and i've only got 2 nights left

my life is to boring to write about, i'm gonna go bang my head on the desk 

well another night of limited interest over with - only 4 days til xmas, and then it'll all be over for another year

still clueless about the girl from work, she's more friendly when her friend is there (she's not much of a talker) so i dunno about that still, also another girl who i've been interested in was being really flirty, she has a boyfriend tho so i've never acted on it, but she has got the nicest arse - i'll remember who i'm talking about, don't worry

had a big chat with my kiwi girl the other nite - may have already said that but my machine was playing up, we were talking about all kinds of crap, marriage (even if it is her it still scares me) and she was getting upset...i felt so isolated

well that's about it, need sleep 

well it's late, just had a boring night at work, some strange polish people tried to talk to me

i briefly saw the girl i was pursuing a few months ago, she didn't seem so interested so i'll consider that a dead end now, easier that way

had a big chat with my girl in kiwiland, she was getting quite emotional which is saying something when its her, it made me feel better in some ways but once we stopped i felt empty and i still can't decide if she feels the same way i do

that's about it, bed time! 

Once again technology has failed me - i wrote a short entry yesterday about how bored i was, too lazy to re write it, maybe tomorrow, i spent today painting stupid amounts of wood

gotta go to work tomorrow night...joy