My Little World10

its chinese new year (im only a day late) and it was quite interesting looking at the horoscopes and chinese zodiacs and stuff - im a tiger, apparently im very independent - sounds about right but i need a lot of attention socially which is kind of a contradiction but does seem to describe me - there was other stuff too but i'm feeling lazy and not writing it

well, another day of doing nothing, i've been getting counselling from a friend, damn why am i getting close to someone i dont fancy, irritating (shallow, yes but very annoying to someone as frustrated as me) 

apparently i don't like getting close to people, i'd say i'm just picky, who knows, i think i definitely need people around and currently i've got no-one, maybe it's self inflicted and i should stop wallowing in self pity but it's hard you know, especially when i have no job, have work to do (and none done) and deadlines creeping up

i tried doing stuff on community websites but no-one seemed that interested (nothing perverted, just chatting and writing profiles and stuff)  

i don't think i shud be left alone for to long - its funny how i used to write in full prose when i first started writing this, now i can't be arsed - january sucks (or sucked as of 28 hours)

i am very bad at working, every time i try to read a book for my course (which is rare anyway) i fall asleep...nice dreams tho

still lonely - why me? im gonna mope a bit more tonight and go and watch the sequel...write later when awake

i dunno why i get these miserable days...maybe i just think too much sometimes, or its lack of contact or something, why do i have to always be single?

anyway, back to failing my degree 

oh what a dilemma! do i do my washing this arvo, which would involve effort or leave it til tomorrow, tomorrow sounds good

well nothing happening as usual, might do some work later as i haven't all week, women state is the usual situation

watched the godfather last night - bloody good, watch the other 2 tonight probably, i think i'm too hungry to think about anything else today, it's the weekend after all

i'm not happy that the english don't get a national day - mainly because it's an excuse for a party but a bit of patriotism is present, but happy australia day anyway

well i've had a busy day - seminars and such like, then shopping, eating and gyming, now i'm off to martial arts...not sure when i'll be doing the reading for my course but oh well

still worried about my house - my flatmates just signed for theirs and my prospective landlord is on holiday so i'm gonna be a wreck til he comes back and we can sign....groan

other than that, nothing - i am now part of the anti-smoking in pubs campaign! had a pub lunch and my clothes came back stinking of smoke, it's foul, now i need to wash my (relatively) clean clothes, i previously didn't really care about smoking but the smell is vile - and i probably inhaled second hand too

wonder if i can watch the latest episode of lost yet 

why can't machines do what they're meant to, somehow i can get onto blogspirit, but no big sites and now msn is failing me, my flatmates on the same connection can view porn fine though so i'm slightly concerned

o well it's working to a degree where i can write my thoughts, girl i like is hard to read, she's not the flirty type, think her mate likes me which wouldn't surprise me as thats how my luck works, i dunno, maybe i just go for women who i know i can't get...  

bit bored at the mo...have no motivation to make myself work, i feel my stomach is bulging and situps arent helping..why not?? i don't even drink beer, i need to go to the gym 7 days instead of 5 i reckon

slightly concerned we won't get the house we want, other people are signing contracts and or guy has buggered off on holiday so we have no way of knowing if we're gonna get it or not...fingers crossed

hmm getting angry at this machine...maybe i should run the virus software more often - stupid microsoft free stuff needs updating every 5 minutes, how can i upgrade when i cant connect! 

reading about the ps3 earlier - how sad am i, i want to play the new titles! (*proposed) 

well, finally went back to lectures today, they were only intros tho so not too strenuous, signed up for all my classes and so forth, managed to get in the same one as the girl i like, i've still no idea why and we're getting nearer to getting the house (my new flatmates not the girl)

thats about it, sven will be leaving us after we win the world cup, i'm still letting the hangover go away so haven't been to gym...bad boy

dinner was nice 

well, having a nice relaxing day off - need to go to gym soon, feel hungry though, as always which means i'll be weakened

essays are gone from my life, until they get returned at least, had to sign up for tutor groups today, the girl i like is unfortunately now in a different one, there's one opportunity left however with the last module, otherwise i don't get much chance to see her - she works too much and plays too little, i don't even know why i like her...haha oh well, i need to drink heavily tonight, big bar crawl, she might go

im quite bored - only got one lost episode left to watch before i have to wait for one each week, maybe ill watch stargate again - this is why i need a woman - to occupy my time, i think ive consigned myself to being single forever more

thinking too much is bad for you

happy now! essays done - still need to reference one but that'll only take a min, then i will be truly free

not sure what to do with my day off...going on a bar crawl as its the first day of the new term, i think its time to clear my room of the crap ive been writing for these assignments...ahhhh

lost is so good....only 2 eps behind the yanks now, its been going quite slow but its starting to pick up now, i know what kate did! hehe

ive been weighing up my flatmates, and one of them, earlier mentioned last year probably, just irritates by his treatment of women, its all based on looks but it just annoys me when he goes through them like i go through steak pies, i admit it may be slight jealousy, i'm supposed to be the one with all the female friends - but i don't use people, probably why im always single, maybe i should just start doing what he does, just feels wrong tho

had a good spar this morning, must have been at least 3 minutes they had us in for, we were both nackered, was quite fun tho, takes my mind off uni

coming to terms with the fact that im not gonna see kiwi girl much when she visits next year, she wants to see things, and if she plans packages and things i can't really go with her, and i can't afford to stay in london on student cash, urgh ill worry about it more in a few months, who knows what can happen 

well, time to put my weird thinkings onto paper again (or html if im being geeky)

finished the nastiest of the three essays, its about 800 words off the limit but who cares, i dont need it to pass, as long as they dont dock marks...hehe 

got one left to finish tomorrow and then i'm free for a day, courses start on tues, i'm making a resolution to start and finish work earlier, i've got 3 due on the last day of term and i dont want to be doing them right at the end this time, it's clean break time this term, hopefully i'll have passed all 3 modules this term

not much else going on really, had too much work to think about, decided religion is evil, you don't need religion to be charitable - i think jesus was onto something but it's all been corrupted for a long time - right i've been doing these assignments for too long, need to think more about real life again... 

i'm seriously running out of title ideas here, i might just use dates or something

why are some people always ill? i'm never ill, apart from the odd cold, (i don't want to tempt fate here) but some people seem to always have some sort of disease that makes them all weak and pathetic, it's always the same people - usually women and they moan when we complain about a cold!! i reckon it's all in their heads

well i've finished one essay, the two more interesting ones are left now, 3 days, it's doable (is that actually a word - i've never written in down before)

i went and saw a friend tonight, mainly to steal food but i'm just hoping she's not interested in me again, she just broke up with her boyfriend, and i am in no way interested in her, i'm more interested in her flatmate to be honest but that ain't gonna happen (pity), it's not a serious thought though

i'm still lonely, dont feel close to anyone yadda yadda...same old story, i sound like a broken record, why does live have to so complex, you would think a world (my world - we're excluding foreign lands in poverty here) where you don't even have to try and exist would be plain sailing wouldn't you??

i mean i know i'm not an emotional person, the crap my flatmate was coming out with about his ex was just making my eyes roll "i've fallen out of love with you etc etc" i just feel i'm very stable, if my relationship wasn't working i'd be like, 'fine' - not that i've ever got emotionally involved with anyone ever, maybe i'm the problem, why can't i just find someone who is as straightforward as me and what-not, well, i did but she just happens to live about as far away as you can get....i'm being mocked