My Little World10

and mood swing the other way...........

fairly good day - although now getting closer to next assignment...poo - fed up of this work lark

possibly made progress with girl i like, and i got a load of funny emails to cheer me up - easily pleased

unfortunately have to read crappy article for tomorrow morning....hmm what can i pad this out with?

it's shrove tuesday (just about still) - i had 2 pancakes all day, not brilliant but whatever, its a bit of a jokey tradition now - sod giving up stuff for lent 

ok i'm hungry so it's gonna be quick/short

handed in essay - good, not very happy about it but it's not worth much, back to playing online football

got books for next one - will slap self if not done soon (i prefer this module so it should be eaier)

horny - don't know why, head feels like going to explode - shall go gym soon to wear meself out

men earn more apparently? - i reckon the figures are being fiddled as usual - it always depends on how you interpret data - there are less working women? depends if they average it, or compare jobs (it's not fair if a man and woman do the same job and the man gets more but i reckon more men are in those job's) - from personal experience i used to work for a supermarket and the whole company was run by women so...

addition - venting off my feelings/instincts as a male chauvanistic pig - just noticed one of the medics who my group hangs around with (i don't really know her) has very nice breasts - probably wearing a push up, but i'm just using this as a demonstration of my frustration before my head goes boom

yes, that was supposed to be a sinister title but it wasn't...o well

feeling slightly better than yesterday - have actually made progress on essay - it's shit but isn't worth much of the course and i can now hand something in at least - which means i will probably get a good mark and a shite one on the exam because that's the most (only probably) important part - but that's in may so who cares

from now on i work hard!! - i say this at the end of every essay - it's a ritual, or a cycle if you're more into science, 33 days and it will be over, one way or another

did england win the rugby? hang on.... (this is me checking websites)....... poo scotland beat them, can scotland still win the grand slam?? ahhhh that's not good - ok i'm an idiot nobody can win the grand slam and england france and scotland are level now - still losing to scotland at anything other than curling is shameful

i don't really care much for rugby, like most people i support england in spirit, especially when they're winning -  i have a theory that proves that football is the most popular sport in england - think about the top sports...

football - can never get away from it even in (odd year) summers, even years have world cups/euro cups to watch

rugby - six nations last a month or so, world cup every so often, nobody notices unless we win - even if we do win people still turn back to football afterwards

cricket - only playable for say...2 weeks a year on english soil? we won the ashes...wooo...all the women at work paid attention, soon forgotten...back to beckham and co. (except when freddy goes on a bender)

proof that football is the ruling body - who's ever seen final score with rugby??

fin! 

ok, nearly having a breakdown over this essay - it's the first one due in as well! i'm screwed!!

basically ive got about 7 more due in before the end of march - my own fault ive had over a month to start em - hehe student life, but i just have no drive to do them if i don't like the subject - plus i can't find any books on this topic, damn you!!! i'm sure i'll pull through as usual but i'm sure having to go through this experience isn't good for my mental well being

anything else? i can't think of a topic to waffle about, i happened to notice i wrote around 900 words for the last post - which is nearly enough for my essay so i think i'll leave that or i'll get more depressed

i have two days...relax...you'll think of an answer

o yeh i added a pic of myself!! :P i never intended to make this a website really, just a personal diary...whatever 

ok, i have calmed down, was getting slighty annoyed at a certain tkd instructors method of turning in a pattern - i'm sure i've always been taught the way i was doing it and she's wrong (hehe that sounds arrogant but i know my patterns, she also does some weird stuff with measuring styles and blocks) - i shall consult the book while i remember

thought so - it should be a spot turn, i shall have to ask my old instructor when i go home

i have decided i probably do need a girlfriend while in the country, possibly just because i'm turning into a lonely and bitter old git, i need someone to be close to and share stuff with...simple eh?

interesting debate on radio - male or female drivers haha contentious

personally i don't believe that higher premiums for blokes are valid (british insurance rates are insane anyway - highest in the world, as usual, i believe) - there are more blokes driving, maybe the amount of men and women who CAN drive is similar or whatever but the majority of people who drive for a living are men - lorry drivers, bus drivers etc (not that there arent women drivers - but there are definitely less) so therefore by my completely unresearched experiment (well, i have personal experience) men are driving more = more accidents by sheer scale of time/distance

however, i don't feel that you can categorise - stupid people are found in both genders, as well as arrogant, blind and anything else that impedes driving skill - i have found that the worst drivers drive powerful cars (especially bmws and mercs) they drive up your arse on a fast A road or motorway to make you pull left to let them overtake when you're (ie me) already going at 85/90mph which last time i checked was speeding considerably anyway - naughty

also big cars - i concede that my experience has mostly been of women in 'kid cars' as i call em (big 4wd's with no purpose other than to ferry kids about - driven by mothers to school and tesco) - these ones like to force you off the road when it's your right of way or have commited to driving on the other side - then honk when they mount the pavement, rather than you scraping the side of several cars on the left, which you should clearly have done 

i admit, that's a bitter tale of my own - my village is small and windy - people park on blind corners, i pull round the row of cars and am going past nicely on the right, nothing is coming so i'm commited and it's my right of way, then big volvo thing comes tearing round corner and instead of stopping keeps coming (easily going above 30 i might add), so i have to slow down and get close to the parkeds, she gets up on the kerb and toots etc etc - damned if i'm moving for her! followed by my swearing loudly out the window (because i have a weedy french horn) - lesson - clearly 4wds always have right of way

in short issue is very long and complex - i have seen many idiotic women and idiotic men on the roads - i have never crashed and neither has kiwi girl (although our roads are far more dangerous - sort of) - a lot of my female friends have crashed, but i have more girls as friends so thats skewed

i failed my test 500000000 times give or take a few (expensive i know) and am a pretty good driver by all accounts - i failed pretty much every time for being nervous - being too cautious, not spotting a jay walker(yeh that one pissed me off - she was going the other way anyway) looking out the wrong window when reversing (and that matters because?) and parking behind a car that decided to park on a roundabout (i assumed it was stopped not parked as ppl don't normally park there) - humourous, i took about 18 months to finally pass, and it probably made me more confident and skilled than most young uns let loose on motorways, i am fairly alert and don't drive like a twat like some young uns do for some reason - i know of several prats, actually mainly male for once that crashed a week after passing first time and usually only training for about 2 weeks - i think men in general do have more confidence and take more risks - buts it doesnt apply to everyone!!! i have seen some damn nutty women and some very cautious blokes as well

so i have done whatt any good historian should and sat on the fence as it were - you can't define who is better in my opinion

ps.. my stepdad drives a lot (and i mean a lot) and has a much worse driving record than me mum (who does a normal amount) and he regularly gets caught speeding, but he does drive more so...swings and roundabouts i gess

ok shut up - now!! 

or rather the people in it are...

feeling hung up on kiwi girl again, so annoying, i'm going to look at working overseas over summer - i can't afford it but i'm seeing if i can get paid flights or summat hehe - i'm not too optimistic, i'll see her in january anyway

looked at a house today, it was more student like and a lot cheaper but i think i have high standards

pros (i think that means for/good stuff)

big bedrooms (i'm not having the small one)
cheap
broadband internet
not too far from uni
enough space for off road parking
good sized lounge

cons (again assuming is bad)

bathroom is a bit dated
kitchen ditto
decor in general isnt great  

well that was a bit of a crummy argument, it's fine but i just don't like the style really, so i should go for it, i think it's true about the light effect - they always paint warm/neutral colours and have lots of light to attract buyers on property shows on tv, this house was fairly dark, just a bit off putting

maybe i should keep looking around just in case...anyway...it's now the 23rd because blogspirit is either on european time or bst - its actually 5 past 11 here 

ok, not a serious title really, feeling better than yesterday, spent the day buggering about in town and drinking

i think i have resigned myself to my fate, i don't feel anything for other women - physically yes (frustration etc) but not emotionally - hoping this view will be good for me

work is looming like a "big looming thing" (i refer to some comedy show i can't remember)

i am spending far too much time on this interweb thingy, have a geeky mate who keeps putting me onto weird sites with left wing views and the such like, as well as people who spend far too much time playing on photoshop

ok i'm going to pad - as a historian i feel obliged to write about that David Irving bloke in Austria, i do find it bizarre that several modern European nations have outlawed denying something, even it is something as evil as the holocaust, the evidence is quite obvious and i feel this guy was just shit stirring, no true historian could actally say it never happened, they can question motives and why etc etc til the cows come home but the evidence is too great, so while i don't agree with him i don't think he was sentenced for a fair reason (such as supporting and encouraging racist factions - which he did) i doubt many people would call for someone to be jailed for denying the crusades or any other event in history that involves suffering (it may be a good thing that i can't find an exact parallel, the holocaust was fortunately unique in my opinion)

i am an advocate of free speech - a person is entitled to say what they want, and i feel the only limit to that should be when it incites violence (and i'm talking "go kill the infidel" stuff here) - a view is a view, and i think it is a huge part of the core of western civilisation, i concede that americans like to censor a lot but freedom of speech is still a right there - i personally find it an insult that religious types/extremists (who are a minority - but a lot do condemn "stuff") dare to condemn what we say in our own country, fine if we actually insult their religion they can make a little noise, but they should take it on the chin, those cartoons were very minor, in a private newspaper in a western country, the christians might make a stink when the da vinci code is released but they won't do much - peaceful - i'm expecting no embassy burning over that

the cartoons were actually more about the fear of cartoonists of drawing mohamed, only one or two are actually considered offensive, which the media have picked up on, i feel the point of the cartoons is highlighting that fear - there is none when drawing god/jesus/pope etc satirically - i feel its time to stand up to the intimidation and protect our freedom (and as for the introduction of sharia law over here, dont get me started)

i do concede that as a historian i like to question everything and feel that everything should be open to criticism, otherwise we run the risk of returning to a pre-enlightenment style of being told what is right (ok maybe a bit over the top here) 

i'm at a low again i think, it's all becoming too much - the assignments, work for classes, everything, i don't even want to get up and pack

it's her, i've realised why i don't fancy anyone, i think i love her and i all i want is to be with her, god i sound like such the sap that i've always strived to never become, i just feel like i don't need anything except her - stupid isn't it? there's the logic in my brain saying of course i do but i just don't care anymore...i think i'm beginning to understand how other people feel

you know what really hurts? not just that we're about as far away from each other as is earthly possible its that i don't know how she feels - what happens if i feel this way and she doesn't, it's not like i get close to people often, does she realise how special she is to me? it's very hard for me to get close to someone, i expect it's harder to break up

i've said it before but this time i really feel like packing it all in and running off, if i was sure of her feelings i would - the back of mind is saying not a good idea - finish degree, but i don't even want a boring desk job - i need to hang on...maybe

well, being at home is alright - i know where i really want to be - in the sun somewhere with good friends - but i won't depress myself (i don't mind winter it just happens to be sunny where i want to be)

have done a lot of sudoku, car has broke down so have had to entertain myself by watching season 2 of atlantis all day and doing puzzles, fun day

not looking forward to doing work this week...5 weeks to struggle through  (or 6 maybe?)

i am tempted to get political....maybe later, it's hard typing without a desk 

well, still at home - main news is me car broke down, very inconvenient, fortunate i was at home and not up at uni really, still i'd rather it hadnt happened, hopefully it's not too serious - it would go but the engine was shuddering and hissing steam (possibly a gasket?)

annoyingly this happened just as i was off to to a mensa test - fortunately i was at home and got a lift but that brings me on to explain my title - was seeing how high my iq was, was pretty confident before due to earlier tests but this was pretty tough so i dunno, hopefully i'll do well, not too fussed if i don't get in

that about sums my day up